WHY AM I SICK?
The question everyone must answer!
„Illness is to be considered a Grace.“
Dialogues of the Sick Person with their Conscience
The Question
The Sick Person (tormented and pleading, exclaiming towards Heaven):
– Ah! I suffer! I don’t like being like this. Why am I bedridden? Why do I have no strength left? Why am I so pale? Tell me, why am I sick?, I ask you. Can anyone answer me?
The Answer
The Voice of Conscience:
– Yes, I can answer you!
The Sick Person (astonished and regaining hope):
– Someone heard me? Then, whoever you are, speak, I am listening! Where are you?
Here is the Answer to your question:
You are sick so that you may recognize your false will!
The Continuation of the Dialogue
The Sick Person (indignant):
– My false will! What false will? Don’t you think you’re exaggerating quite a bit? Not only do I have the misfortune of being sick (I’d like to see you in my shoes!) but, furthermore, you have the audacity to tell me it’s my fault!
The Voice of Conscience:
– I am already in your place! And, moreover, if I am here to help you, it is because you called me! But if you refuse my help, there is no problem, I can leave!
The Sick Person (distraught):
– No, stay there! Who will rescue me if you leave?
Conscience:
– No one! For I am your best friend! So, if you want to understand and especially to heal, you must first truly listen to me, understand me, and accept what I tell you.
The Sick Person (resigned, with a sigh):
– Then, speak, I am listening to you!
Conscience:
– So, here it is. There are two processes to understand well. The first is how one becomes sick (it is better to say „to become sick“ than „to fall sick“, because „to fall sick“ can, by giving the idea of something fortuitous, easily introduce a false concept). The second is how one can heal.
The Sick Person:
– Yes. So far I follow you. Tell me quickly how I can heal!
Conscience:
– No, not too quickly, precisely! First, you must first understand how you became sick. So, let’s continue. The second process, that of healing, is the opposite of the first. That is why by understanding how one became sick one can also understand how to return to the initial state!
The Sick Person:
– Alright, so how did I fall – uh…, I mean „become“ – sick?
Conscience:
– Well, here it is: at some point, you began to will something false and that is how you became sick.
The Sick Person (exclaiming at first):
– I, I willed something false!?!
(then sighing:) 
– What does „false“ mean?
Conscience:
– It is a will that is not in accordance with the Laws.
The Sick Person:
– Which Laws?
Conscience:
– The Laws. That is, the Laws of Nature, or also the Laws of Life, or Laws of Creation, or the Laws of the Creator, all that is the same!
The Sick Person:
– The Laws of the Creator!?! Am I obliged to recognize that there is a Creator?
Conscience:
– That would be better for you, especially if you want to heal, because that is how it is.
The Sick Person:
– But why would you know it better than I?
Conscience:
– Precisely because I am your conscience, that is, the best part of yourself. That part, because of its spiritual nature, knows that God exists, even if another part of you denies it. I don’t need to reason to know, myself!
The Sick Person:
– Are you trying to tell me that deep down I already know that God exists?
Conscience:
– Of course you know it! Are you the author of your own life? Do you imagine yourself to have come from nothing? Every human spirit is indeed obliged to know that God exists since it is to Him that it owes its life!
The Sick Person (bowing before the evidence, with a pout):
– I would have preferred that there wasn’t one…
Conscience (half-ironic, half-indignant):
– You „surprise“ me! There are far too many like you! Fleeing from one’s responsibilities, that’s „lovely“!, the fallacious „hope“ that there would be no accounts to render to anyone, that’s „clean“!
The Sick Person (capitulating):
– Alright! Agreed! Let’s admit that God exists. In any case, you are always right! So why did He make me sick?
Conscience:
– But it was not Him who made you sick!
The Sick Person:
– So then who was it?
Conscience (looking fixedly into their eyes):
– In your opinion?
The Sick Person (sheepish, lowering their head):
– Are you trying to say… (a silence…)
Conscience (continuing, indignant):
– Yes, you are right to lower your head! You yourself! Only yourself! God has absolutely nothing to do with it!
The Sick Person:
– But is He not All-Powerful?
Conscience:
– Yes, He is!
The Sick Person (triumphant):
– Well then!
Conscience (implacable):
– It is not because He is All-Powerful that He is capable of arbitrary action! God, to punish evil, only has to let it happen!, says the proverb accurately.
The Sick Person (after a silence):
– So what you want me to say is that I am responsible for my sick condition!
Conscience:
– I don’t want you to say it; I want you to recognize it!
The Sick Person (after a long silence):
– I have considered all possibilities; I see that I have no other choice; if I refuse to recognize
